food for thought

it's the time of the year, with spring festival or chinese new year just around the corner, you're embarking into your annual cooking and baking.  those food that you will only make once a year.

except this year, you're somehow in a melancholic mood. perhaps due to your work load, may be it's the fact that january is the month that you're totally ground, you couldn't tell exactly.  while cutting, slicing and doing things, it brought back so much memories of the past. you're literally down (and almost drown in) the memory lane. you couldn't pin point exactly what triggers such an emotion but it's so real. you missed your mother and those happy childhood so much as those food that you're making are the taste of childhood, the taste of home, a taste of memory and a taste of her.
you became so sentimental that you wept silently for a few occasions in a week that you almost couldn't help yourself but cried out to God for help.  you like to reminiscence the past but not to the extend that you cannot function on your daily life.
it was so bad to the stage all you want is to be alone, spending your time in solitude and not having anything to do. that's so for today. you woke up naturally without morning alarm, no conference call to attend and practically nothing. you forgo the church's workers meeting because you just want to listen to your inner self and spent your afternoon home seeking God.  the joy of the Lord is my strength, and that's just a simple but profound bible verse that you often forget.
when you determine to seek the joy of the Lord, you gain your strength in finding the melancholic mood and anything that doesn't build you up but tear you down.
thank you Jesus!

that being said, to date you have made a batch of acar from your home town that you normally eat it with keropok (fish or prawn crackers). two small batch of pineapple tarts, one open face and one bamboo charcoal rolled up version.  you're not planning to make too much this year since you have lost your appetite or rather cravings for sweets and these are extremely fattening.
two more weeks and the lunar new year will come.  can't wait for spring festival and the month of february where you will have your fair chance of traveling.