A tribute to my dearest mama…
Today is the 15th Anniversary of my mum’s death. My mum was called by the Lord on 28th March 1994. I want to write this special entry dedicating to my dearest mum, who has sacrificed so much for us. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to know a lot of her account before my birth, a lot of these were told by my elder auntie who is now living in
The Beginning
My Mum Anna Lo Siew Fah (罗秀华) born on 2nd Sept 1933, at a town called Buso,
The Age of Adolescent
Mum and her family, I still can vaguely recognize my 3rd Uncle (front far right), youngest uncle who is now living in
Another photo of mum with probably her family as well.
Her Golden Era
The Engagement - 10th October1955
The Engagement with my dad took place on 10th October1955. This is their engagement photo together with the newspaper engagement announcement cut behind the photo. We love each other and with the consensus from our parents, we would like to take each other as life partner, on 10th October1955 we are engaged. Hope to keep our relatives and friends informed.
The Wedding – 3rd October 1956
Mum and Dad got married on 3rd October 1956 at Bau, the township where my grandpa was a high officer for the British government. The wedding was in the western style.
The Great Expectation
Then come the great expectation in 1957, she is expecting my eldest sister and these two shots clearly reflect the excitements and anxiety of a woman in her pregnancy. To me, these were the very beautiful candid shots that my dad had captured for those beautiful moments of their marriage life.
Behind this photo there are these Chinese handwriting of my father - “静思计算何时何日做妈妈” – silently counting when to become a mother… A very romantic and lovable statement.
Quietly thinking in deep thoughts, perhaps resting a bit during the early pregnancy months, her tummy is not really obvious though.
The Motherhood
My mum’s first portrait with her first born taken on 12th October 1957. with my eldest sister. My sister was just about a month old (judging from the date of birth of my sister and the date this photo was taken). You can see from mum's expression on the joy of being a mother and a step into the motherhood for the years to come.
In this photo are mama and me, taken probably when I was around 2 to 3 years old. Mum in her fashionable nyonya dress, smiling happily while looking at me. (don't ask me why I got curly fringe, I am clueless)
A funny look family Portrait
My eldest brother, my dad, my eldest sister, mum
My 3rd sister and me (almost unseen as I was the shortest then), I have no clue where is my 2nd sister was then… and obviously my youngest brother was unborn.
This is another portrait with my grandma (杨十妹), the little one next to my grandma is ME, mum standing behind with contentment, at least her smile releases the she is happy then. Again if you notice carefully, mum's dress with batik print. There is this style in her that I like the most, dare to be different and non conformity to the fashion.
The Stormy Seasons
This photo is taken on my birthday in 1991, I practically have to force them to sit down to take this photo with me in between. Neither of them were happy, as for me, my smile probably reflects the fact that I managed to take a photo with my parents which I never regretted to do so...
This photo is taken when I came back from Kuala Lumpur. I was already study in west Malaysia then. I think this is taken in 1992 around the time mum is suddenly diagnosed with cervical cancer but haven't undergone the chemotherapy yet.
The Last Days
The last family photo and family reunion on Chinese New Year 12th February 1994. She is weak and skinny and lost her hair due to the treatment. Everyone who is supposed to be there was present. All of us knew her time was numbered and despite a family reunion and Chinese new year, sadness is hovering on us, at least for me.
The Departure
Shortly after that, mum's condition worsen and admitted to the hospital a couple of times. I was called back from Kuala Lumpur once as an alarm that she may be leaving us. It was heart breaking to see her suffers in her pain... She literally lives on morphine on the last stage of her life to relief from pain. I remembered that night I was in the hospital, she told me the "牛头马面" (ox-head, horse face - Chinese believes these creatures arrive to take people's life away) were there to take her with them, but she told them that she belongs to Christ and so those spectral apparatchiks left her. Then an angel figure appears to her but she was told that her time is not up yet. After she told me this, I asked her to release her forgiveness to all the people and incidents that had sour her life. I told her that the Lord wants her to return home in complete freedom without any unforgiveness and worry.
She departed on 28th March 1994, I was then in KL but that morning I had a very bad dream and in the dream I struggled with dark-forces and fighting hard in my authority as the children of God, as if I am interceding for the last journey of my mum. Despite of the hard fight in the dream, I won the battle and the phone rang....
And I was told by my family... Mama has gone with the Lord....
The Ending Note
That day, while waiting for my flight to return home in the evening, I went to a movie to kill time, I watched Shadowlands with my roommate, an account of CS Lewis' life and the phrase "Death is swallowed up in Victory" and the definition of "glory" melt me completely in tears because I knew that was God trying to comfort me and assured me that He has taken her with Him.
And so 15 years later, my tears flow while I am composing this entry. Mama, I love you and I miss you! I will live my life in God's will, I have forgiven everyone that have caused you the hardship while you were alive. I will live my life to the fullest, so that you can be proud of me the day when I see you face to face in HEAVEN.
~~To GOD be the GLORY~~
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