the.end.2009

I went to the year end service at our church…
The word of God is from Proverbs 3 again, I think this is not coincident but a confirmation from God. I am not noble and neither am I chose to be noble. I don't consider what I have done yesterday is a noble thing but only by the grace of God, my flesh will not be over with these for awhile. Last night when pastors prayed for me, there is a different tongue language that somehow I can understood every single word (word of interpretation), it sounds like a combination of Hakka, Mandarin, Cantonese, Thai, Shanghainese but the Spirit gave me the interpretation and reminded me of my mum when she is still holding unforgiveness at the edge of dying and how she eventually released her forgiveness before she returns to the Lord ...
I still spent the old/new celebration with the family and it is a relief to me that things are made known to the family members so that I don’t have to pretend further…
Happy New Year to you all, I hope my 2010 will be a happy one as I follow through the "Year of Progress", may there be expansion and progression in my body, soul and my spiritual life.

::proverb.3::

This photo depicts the struggles in me, the clear sky and the rain cloud is struggling over a battle of rain or shine...

Our pastors came to me since morning, listened, prayed, gave counsel and accompanied me till late afternoon...

Proverb 3 was the main scripture and what more can I say, my God is real, yesterday I may live in hell, but today He is definitely speaking to me and affirms me...

Proverbs 3

1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.
3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
9 Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops;
10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.
11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
13 Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding,
14 for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.
15 She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.
16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.
18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.
19 By wisdom the LORD laid the earth's foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place;
20 by his knowledge the deeps were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew.
21 My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight;
22 they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.
23 Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble;
24 when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
25 Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
26 for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.
27 Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.
28 Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow"— when you now have it with you.
29 Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you.
30 Do not accuse a man for no reason— when he has done you no harm.
31 Do not envy a violent man or choose any of his ways,
32 for the LORD detests a perverse man but takes the upright into his confidence.
33 The LORD's curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.
34 He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.
35 The wise inherit honor, but fools he holds up to shame.

hell.on.earth

Today is probably the most difficult day for me to endure, it feels like hell on earth… I lied on my bed all day, I have not been eating because the pain and sufferings have taken over my hunger if I ever feel any…

May be this is how I should end the year 2009, a body with chronic sickness, stagnant in my career due to my health situation and worst of all discovered a new continent that full of betrayals and cheats…

Sorry that I have no good things to share and say today or may be tomorrow or even coming days… I survived each day by the grace of God… I literally don’t feel Him nearby me today and wonder why He allows all these to happen on the last days of the year…

Mark 15:34 - "Eloi, Eloi lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"Jesus cried out to God the Father at His last moments on the cross, but what have I done that I deserved such cruxification of my soul??

heart.break.istanbul

I discovered something of which led to complete denial when when a confrontation took place at the hotel. My heart is as cold as the weather while sitting and waiting at the courtyard of blue mosque. There's heavy rain and wind, the sudden dropped of temperature but nothing is as cold as my heart. I never expect such an ending note to my Istanbul travel... What's more to discover your love one has betrayed you...

blue mosque front view

blue mosque courtyard

It was raining when I got there...

Rain... more rain pouring out to depict the tears that flowing from my eyes, people are watching but I wouldn't care any longer.. Anger, disappointment and hurts are filling all over me... My senses are numb to the coldness and hurt and I actually don't know what to do, how to proceed any more... the last few hours in Istanbul seems like eternity and so unbearable. The 'discovery' has ruined the whole trip and making this trip completely forgettable

Oh God (Lord Jesus, not the Allah of Muslim) help me, what should I do, in situation like this, being betrayed and cheated, where are the trust and faithfulness, why must this happen to me and at this time...

And so I left Istanbul with a complete broken heart and broken spirit, a pair of swollen eyes and in devastating and confusion, O God where are you when I needed You? Show me Your ways...

orient.express.istanbul

Istanbul Sirkeci Terminal was inaugurated as the terminus of the Orient Express that runs between Paris and Istanbul. The train station is located next to our hotel and I just have a quick peek on my way after the Spice Bazaar...

the train model

Istanbul Sirkeci Terminal

the waiting room

the train platform

The interior of the train station

spice.bazaar.istanbul

Last day in Istanbul, I am taking a night flight out... Since I am still missing the rose perfume oil, I go back to Spice Bazaar again... It is a grey day with expected heavy rain later.

At the New Mosque compound, it looks very different in daylight. Lots of pigeons and also a steady stream of crowds rushing for ferry, crossing to the other side of town, Turks women doing the grocery shopping and tourists with cameras...

New Mosque courtyard, a slight detour prior to entering Spice Bazaar...

Spice Bazaar, really is not as touristic as Grand Bazaar and rather charming and above all it smells good

Chick peas, Almonds, Pistachios, in general nuts are quite delicious here ...

Colorful merchandise from ceramics, Turkish dried fruits, sweets, local delicacies to copper ware kitchen utensils

more exotic spices and tea leaves

Sahlep, my new found Turkish hot drink, rather sticky and lumpy, taste of milk and generous powdered cinnamon. Sahlep is a flour made from grinding the dried tubers of orchid and it is good to fight hangover, and digestive disorder... In fact it is here in the Spice Bazaar that I had my cheapest Sahlep, 2.5TL compared to others selling at 5TL...

Some shish kebab on display at Bab-i Hayat but it was too early for me to tug in any meat...

Anyway, mission accomplished, I got a small bottle of Turkish Rose perfume oil. While strolling at the bazaar I actually went in to a leather shop and was attracted by the imitate Bottega Veneta woven handbag. Although it is an imitation, the leather really soft and high quality, but I didn't strike a deal because the price is 50TL more than what I am willing to pay... Otherwise I would have carry a classic Bottega woven handbag at a fraction of original retail price.... Then again I can do without these worldly things...

hamam.istanbul

In the evening, I went for a Turkish bath experience. I actually wanted to go to another one but it is not open on Sunday so I took the tram and hopped off at Cemberlitas Hamam

Cemberlitas Hamam main entrance, just directly opposite the tram station looks rather shabby and bogus...

Much to my surprise the receptionist is a Japanese lady and in front of me there is a Japanese couple. I selected my choice of bath, a basic bath with scrub and quick massage, paid the price and go to the ladies section.

The whole place is filled with tourists (sadly I am one of them) who come after a Turkish bath experience.

Despite of the shabby exterior design, the interior especially the bath area actually live up to the expectation of an Ottoman bath

The hot marble/stone where one lying down to perspire and sweat before the scrub and massage

The sink where one use to wash the body after the scrub and massage, and also a hot jacuzzi for a hot soak....

This is the view when one lie on the hot stone and the view of the Dom top with light shining in...

After the bath, I rested at the resting area and enjoyed a cup of Turkish tea and much to my surprise is that my body continues to perspire and sweat keeps coming down even 30 min after the bath...

I wish it could be more authentic but my Turkish girlfriend told me that hamam (Turkish bath) these days are only for tourists, she herself never been to one in all her life... so I guess she is right...

archaeological.museum.istanbul

The site of the museum complex is actually located at the outer garden of Topkapi Palace, it was huge and the collections are extensive.

The Istanbul Archaeology museum main building

Plenty of tombs, statues outside of the main building...

Various statues outside the main building, most of them are eroded and one can tell how these statues survive the test of time....

Some collections on the ground floor of the main buildings... As I mentioned before I am not into history but this museum serves a good purpose for photography and so don't ask me who these statues are... they are probably some of the kings from Roman empires and so forth...

Some more exhibitions

I love this statue, I think she (I hope is not he) is elegantly crafted and this photo also gives the depth of the interior of the museum...

Sadly saying after the long stroll of Topkapi Palace, I have no more energy left to appreciate every single collection that Istanbul Archaeology Museum could offer. I didn't even done with the exhibition of the main building and fall asleep as I sit on some comfy sofa and dozed off for a nap...

Then I am curious of what is in the building opposite (Tiled Kiosk) and so I pulled my tired foot to the Tiled Kiosk for a quick peep

It seems to be the oldest surviving nonreligious Turkish building in Istanbul

Some collections of Anatolian and Ottoman tiles and ceramics

topkapi.istanbul

Day 3 in Istanbul... It was a beautiful morning with plenty of sunshine and in fact pretty warm enough to remove my winter jacket...

Topkapi palace used to be the official residence for Ottoman sultans for almost 400 years though today is mainly just a prime tourist attraction.

The compound of Topkapi is huge, so huge that it is at par with the entrance fee and another surcharge if one wants to visit the Harem (I didn't)...

Approaching the Topkapi Palace is a Byzantine church of Hagia Eirene



Walking toward the palace, the Gate of Salutation behind me...

The Tower of Justice

At the fourth court, there are some neglected ruins scattered around the compound

The view of Galata Tower from Topkapi

Remaining city wall

The view from the restaurant

Approaching fourth courtyard

Awesome patterned tile roof

Dom tile in Circumcision room

Circumcision room

The Ottoman is very good in reusing the old marble from the Byzantine era and used them to pave the walk way.... If you look carefully, these materials could be a column or a beautiful statue but sadly they are now under the feet of the tourists who stepped on them and some tourists probably won't know that they have stepped on the history of a great dynasty...